How Do You Want Me?

• 1. No One Can Hear You Scream

  30m

  Newly-weds Lisa and Ian Lyons move from London to her home village in rural Suffolk. Ian has trouble adapting to country life when he offends his wife’s farming family over dinner. Then he exacerbates the animosity Lisa’s family have for him even further at the grand opening of a new turkey barn. Meanwhile when Ian struggles to find suitable employment, he takes over the local photography business.

• 2. Floppy, But Not Too Floppy

  30m

  Ian finally receives his first business assignment: taking the primary school annual photograph. However, things don’t go quite to plan as his inexperience shows through and the students and staff are not as co-operative as he had hoped. Lisa’s father is determined to get his son in law to return to London and offers him a substantial sum of money to encourage him to leave. Meanwhile Lisa has problems of her own when it becomes apparent that her ex, Derek, still harbours feelings for her.

• 3. Monstrous

  30m

  Some intimate photographs of Ian and Lisa cause a stir when they are posted around the village. Desperate to ingratiate himself with the villagers, Ian joins the local football team but quickly begins to regret his decision.

• 4. Woof!

  30m

  Derek’s continued obsession with Lisa creates friction. To support a village charity gala, Ian invites one of his friends from the London comedy club to perform. However his friend’s style of stand up proves to be a little too much for the audience.

• 5. The Hidden World of Country Fire Stations

  30m

  Ian travels round with the local fire service when he decides to write a book about them however, he uncovers a swindle they don’t want revealed. Lisa has a constant flow of visitors and Ian begins to feel claustrophobic.

• 6. Sausage, Balloon, Bum

  30m

  There is a scandal in the village when Ian is accused of hitting a young boy. The Lyons find rural life rather dull and decide to enter the local bridge competition.

Cast

Dylan Moran

Ian Lyons

Charlotte Coleman

Lisa Lyons

Frank Finlay

Emma Chambers

Peter Serafinowicz

Mark Heap

Clive Merrison

No photo

Simon Bates